13 Important Texting Tips Your Teens & Preteens Need To Know

Giving our teens and preteens helpful tips for the world of texting and communicating via phone is so important. We give them this new phone, they are still learning social skills in general anyway, and this opens up a whole new confusing medium for talking to people. Plus, they are usually texting with immature people, and all kinds of problems will come up.

Our parents (I’m in my forties) did not have to teach us this. Texting was not a thing back then. We are the first generation of parents to have middle and high schoolers with smart phones, and they need us to teach them some basic social and safety skills on operating these phones.

I put together some vital texting tips for teens and preteens. Hope you or your kids find this helpful!

#1. Nothing you ever write or text on an electronic device is private. Nothing.

Everything you write on a device can be screen-shotted and shared with others or read by your parents or your friends’ parents. It’s so important that everyone with a phone knows this.

Sure, you may think it’s safe to talk about Beau to Susie this week, but what if Susie gets mad at you in a month from now? She can take anything you said and share it with Beau himself and anyone you know.

Anything you say on a text message or email can be used against you because you wrote it down. Now there is a written record of your words. When you say it out loud there’s no record of what you say (unless you are recorded or filmed of course). But when you write it down, everyone has proof of what you said.

Parents can read what you write too. Some of your friends’ parents will read what you text to their sons and daughters. The police can read it. Everyone can read it. Assume everything you text is public information. If you have a secret, say it. Don’t write it.

#2. Also, never send a photo via text message that you don’t want your whole school, family, or the world in general to see.

This is exactly the same principle as I mentioned above about what you write. ANYONE could end up seeing your photo, not just your intended audience. I don’t care how much you trust your best friend/boyfriend/ girlfriend/ whoever. Make it a rule that you never text nude photos, underwear photos, etc.

There is nothing that will get you in trouble with your parents, their parents, or cause you more potential embarrassment than having a nude or even partially nude photo out there being shared behind your back, or worse, posted to social media on someone else’s profile.

Think about what you choose to send out VERY carefully. Always err on the side of total paranoia when it comes to texting photos.

#3. Text Ghosting

If someone quits answering your text messages, just quit texting them.

If that someone tells you to text them after repeatedly ignoring your texts, say, “But you never answer.” Then see if they explain.

Otherwise, just assume they do not wish to speak with you via text message, and leave them alone.

It actually can be considered a form of harassment to continually text someone who never answers or who has told you not to text them.

#4. Always Getting One Word Answers

This goes hand in hand with the text ghosting. Only this person is very polite and does not want to hurt your feelings. If they always give you one word answers, leave them alone.

Now there are exceptions to this rule. If it’s someone you are working with on a project, maybe a word or two is all that was needed. You are just passing information to each other, not having a conversation. Or if this is a family member, don’t let this offend you.

But if this is someone you consider a friend, and you are trying to have a real conversation with them, take it as a sign that they don’t really want to talk.

#5. Every once in a while you may receive random, indecent, or unsolicited messages from scammers.

This may be a text from a weird number that says, “Check out my hot pics, big boy,” or something like that. Then it might have a link to click on. It is SO important that your kids know not to respond to these texts or click on the links. This could be a virus or a cat-fishing scheme. Either way, it’s a scammer. Delete these messages without even opening them if at all possible. Never click on the links or respond to the sender.

This can be applied to all forms of communication on the internet: social medias, emails, chats. Wherever the people are, the scammers are there too.

#6. Text Spamming: Don’t do it.

Text spamming is where someone sends you thirty messages in like two minutes. This is not a conversation. It’s just a nuisance. Don’t be that guy. It’s annoying, and it’s just downright rude. Always treat people the way you would want to be treated with any and all forms of communication.

#7. Try not to text someone all day long, every time you have a thought to share either.

This one is kind of hard to explain, but have you ever had someone who texted you obsessively? They aren’t spamming you the same words over and over or anything, but they are just texting you all day, every few hours, and it can take over your day in a hurry.

Now if you have a major crisis, or the person you are talking to has a crisis, and you both need to talk all day long, then that’s okay. But if you’re just texting someone random thoughts all day long, that can get to be invasive.

We all enjoy texting with our friends, but just make sure you aren’t taking over your friend’s day with constant commentary about your own day. That’s all I’m saying. It’s okay to text people you are very close to daily, but just not twenty different times a day. Does that make sense? If you’ve ever had someone do this to you, you know what I mean. Just don’t suffocate people.

#8. Courtesy Responses

On the reverse side, you don’t want to be a text ghoster either. If you have a text from your mom or your grandma, and you don’t really want to bother responding, respond anyway. It is a courtesy. She may just ask, “How are you doing?” That’s okay. Be polite, and answer the question when you are free to do so.

Just answer your messages. You don’t have to do it as soon as they send them, but sometime that day or the next morning, answer your text messages.

#9. Texts are, in general, more urgent than emails, but less urgent than phone calls.

People cannot always read their text messages at any given moment. If we are at work, at school, at a lecture, at church, or driving, it’s rude to be looking at your phone, so don’t expect prompt answers. Sure, it’s nice to get prompt answers, but don’t expect them. If you NEED an answer right away, you have to call.

We millennials tend to text first, and if we get no response, but it’s an urgent question, then we call on the phone.

#10. Times When it’s Rude to Be Looking at Your Phone

Obviously, you aren’t supposed to have your phone out during a school class, church activity, or if you are driving a car. However, there are other times when you may not realize it’s rude.

-when you are having a meal with other people

-during any conversation with a group, whether it’s people your own age or older people

– any time an adult is talking to you

#11. Don’t look at your phone while walking.

This is a safety thing. Headphones should be out when you’re walking too. You need to be able to see and hear if a car, person, or ravenous animal is running towards you.

#12. Please, please, please report any bullying you endure on your device in any form to a parent or a teacher you trust.

Not all kids or adults behave, and if anyone texts you harmful, bullying messages on your phone, you must tell someone. This is not a time to “not be a tattle.” This is a time to let someone know. You might think no one can help you, but they might surprise you. At the very least, know you can block unwanted numbers from texting you on your phone.

#13. Do not let other kids hold your phone.

Never trust another teen/preteen at school with your phone. They could download who knows what in ten seconds flat and browse through your things which are none of their business. This could open you up to phone viruses, stolen passwords, or public embarrassment. If it helps, just tell them your parents don’t want other people holding your phone. Or just say, “Nope.”

Also, an unfriendly or prankster type person could send other people texts from your phone, making it look like you sent the text. So just trust us on this one. Never let other teens/preteens/kids hold your phone.

Congratulations on owning your first cell phone! Most people my age were in our twenties before we got this privilege. That’s just because cell phones were still catching on.

Texting wasn’t a big thing until my mid-twenties. All of these lessons are fresh on my mind because I’ve only recently learned them myself! That’s how so many tech etiquette rules are. The tech is so new that all of the generations are figuring this stuff out together. Sometimes we will still need you to be the ones to help us, just as we help our parents with their technology.

I hope you will find these tips helpful when texting on your phone. And never put up with bullies and the spammers.

Block the bullies, gently instruct your friends who are spammers, and when necessary, there is also a setting on your phone that will not notify you of texts from certain people. You will still get the text, but your phone won’t buzz or ding.

Happy texting!