Deborah Smith was One of Our Greatest Answered Prayers.

You might be thinking, “Well, who is Deborah Smith?”

Where to even begin? Deborah Smith was one of the greatest ladies I have ever met. She was definitely one of the wisest people I have ever known in real life. In fact, I cannot think of anyone wiser.

I always thought of Deborah as a godly mentor who I aspired to be more like.

Deborah blessed our entire family’s life. She changed us for the better.

And she passed away this past week from a very aggressive cancer.

Deborah could not have been older than her fifties either, so she was one of those saints who feels like they are taken from you before their time. And yet, God’s time just isn’t our time.

It leaves you saying, “Why, God? Why Deborah? Not Deborah.” She had some thoughts on that, which she published in her Facebook Devotional journal. I will share what she said with you in a minute, but first I want to tell you how we knew Deborah and a little bit about how she was so wonderful.

In 2010, my family (Alan and our two baby sons and me) started going to a thriving church in Maryland. This is the part of Maryland that is in the D.C. metro area. We visited many churches before we found this one, and it was wonderful.

I have no memory of how I met Deborah and her family exactly, but it was hard to go to Fellowship Baptist Church and not know the Smith family.

They were always there, always serving. Oh, and they had eight children.

Yep. Eight!

And they weren’t even the biggest family at this church. At the time there were several mega sized families (by today’s standards).

But that was never what stood out about Deborah. Some of her children were grown already, and most of them were around teenage age.

It was always her down-to-earth, no-nonsense, calming wisdom that drew you to Deborah. She smiled a lot, but she was also real. Deborah understood struggling, disappointment, and real life.

She was not an unrealistic idealist. Deborah never made you feel like you weren’t doing enough or were less than her. She had a comforting presence about her.

I think the way that I got to know Deborah was at Ladies’ Bible Study on Friday mornings.

Deborah was always there, and her contributions to discussions were always wise. Everything she said just made sense. I felt like I could not talk to her without learning from her. She was a mentor to me, without even trying to be.

One of my most miraculous answers to prayer ever came through Deborah.

I’ve mentioned this story before when I wrote about how God provides, but I am going to tell it again for anyone who may be new here.

Back when our son Daniel was a six-month-old baby, and our other two boys were five and four, Alan deployed to Afghanistan. Our five-year-old was in kindergarten, but our younger two were still at home with me.

This was in the days before grocery pick-up or delivery was an available service. There was no such thing. If you wanted to buy groceries, you had to go into the store.

And I know from the outside, that sounds fine. A mom can do her shopping during school hours with two little kids in tow. People do it all the time. So I did.

But juggling all of the things was harder than it sounds on paper. Running a household alone with three small children is a serious challenge, and it is lonely, exhausting work. Of course, we also did not have family nearby. Military families rarely do.

Oh, and one of my sons had begun to have seizures just weeks before Alan deployed, and we had all of that testing and worrying to get through.

I tried not to complain about this struggle, but I guess people could still see it. They saw me at church and at Bible study. Maybe I looked worn out and worried or something. Somehow Deborah could tell I needed help.

No one knew just how badly I needed help except God in heaven.

That year was the first time I remember feeling so desperate and out of control, not able to handle my own life that I would cry and lay on my face in the floor, begging God for help.

If you are ever in desperate need of help, pray on your face on the floor. I am telling you. God hears the cries of the humble.

We also learned Matthew 11:28 that year in Bible study, and I used to chant it to myself to get myself out of bed in the morning. It was so hard to get out of bed knowing I had a whole day of juggling babies and feeling like I was just terrible at it.

All of my children are boys. Girls are harder in high school. Boys are harder as toddlers. It literally felt like three wild wolf cubs loose in my house everyday. Very adorable little wild wolves.

Well, days after I had broken down in my bedroom floor, crying out for help on my face, not knowing how I would ever get through this deployment on my own, Deborah sent me a Facebook message.

Thanks to it being via Facebook messenger, I still have that message.

April, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I know Alan will be leaving soon and was wondering if you would like some help while he is gone. Ryann, my 14 yr old daughter, is willing to come and give you a hand while Alan is gone. I think that I may be able to get another teen girl from church to help also. I just wanted to throw this offer out to you. If you are interested, just give me a call and we can work out details.

Deborah

We ended up having three teenage girls who took turns helping us, Ryann, Sarah, and Rachel. Deborah’s idea was that I could bring them home from church with me on Sunday night and then drive them back to meet their parents at church on Wednesday night. That way Deborah explained, I would have automatic older siblings around to help me.

I had help!! I was seen! Who in the world in this modern day age gets live-in helpers who are also family friends?? And yes, I paid them a little. But what these girls did for me was more than babysitting and washing dishes. It was answered prayer and feeling seen and cared for during a trying time. It was the church truly being the hands and feet of Jesus!! The heart of Jesus! It was amazing.

This changed my life. I was never able to see prayer the same ever again. Prayer became this powerful thing to never be underestimated.

It grew my faith times a hundred.

And here is another Deborah quote I found in my Facebook messenger that I just love.

I pray that I will be a good role model. I am not always right; I’m mostly wrong, but I do share my mistakes in the hope that others will learn from them and do better.

Deborah

You see how lovable???

I can tell you right now, with a husband who loves her dearly, eight kids, several in-laws, and many grandchildren present and more to come, Deborah Smith left a giant mark on this world.

She leaves behind a legacy of love, kindness, caring, working, listening, selflessness, and wisdom. So many people have learned from her.

Not having her here is a huge loss though, especially to her family. I hope you will all pray for Gary Smith and all of their big family. Times like these are the very reason people love big families. You have more people to be there for each other.

I want to close with what Deborah Smith had to say about her own passing. She wrote this on January 26th, this year, a little over a month before she passed.

Day 338, 4:47 AM ramblings from my kitchen table. Good morning. I’m off to chemo this morning!

We spoke to my doctor yesterday. The pathology report shows cancer in my colon. It has not yet caused a blockage, but it is a serious threat. The doctor feels that there is no time to wait. My first appointment was for next Thursday. Dr Gamble pulled some strings to get me on the schedule for today. (She really does care about me.)

When I first got sick, I felt that God wanted me to be honest and share with everyone my journey.

So many Christians walk through the difficulties of life in secret. God’s daily provisions and support is not shared. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we need to share our experiences to give direction and support to others as they walk similar paths.

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

If you had spoken to me in November of 2021, a little over a year ago, I had no idea what was just around the bend in the road.

My cancer is fast growing and was bad from the start. I wrote a devotional before I was diagnosed with cancer. I was already out there sharing Jesus with the world. God wanted me to take you along on my journey so you could share in my honest blow by blow dealing with my real medical struggles. I have tried to lay it all out there for you, only delaying when I needed to inform my children of major downturns first. Some people have said that it has been helpful, and I hope that it has been.

Today, I have one of those announcements. I’m dying.

The goal is to keep me alive until Daniel and Corinna’s wedding in June. The doctor feels that would be a miracle!

The coolest thing in all the world is the peace God has given me! I wish I could explain it more clearly. God promises us a “peace that passes all understanding”. It is real, and I have it!

With each blow I have been given, I pause and wait for the fear to hit. It doesn’t come! I’m still surprised and amazed and grateful. God is true to His word!

Why me? You might ask.

Yesterday, we talked about not earning God’s blessings. Many Christians get this wrong and end up mad at God because they followed some man made set of rules that were supposed to result in a perfect trouble free life. Man gave you the rules and the promises, not God.

The story of Joseph and Judah is a good example. Joseph did everything right, but he was still not chosen to carry the promised seed. Judah was a continual mess up until later in life, and he is chosen. God does give us guidelines to live by that generally speaking will make our lives run more smoothly. The liar, thief and murder does much worse (generally speaking) than the truth teller, the honest person and those who don’t murder people.

What God actually says is:

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1: 2-4

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:12

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

I have lived a Joseph life.

I never smoked, drank or did illegal drugs; I have only had one sexual partner, never participated in any other questionable practices and kept a reasonable weight. I’ve tried to be loving and kind. I have tried to live out the love of God with a servant attitude. We have adopted twice, opening our home and hearts as Jesus adopted us into His family. So with all of this, why me?

Why not me?

None of my actions were motivated by earning blessings. My actions were the normal outflow of the love God has shown me. We do not do to earn the blessings of God. All that He gives comes from His love and grace. To say that I could ever be good enough to earn the blessings of God, is to belittle His blessings.

We don’t have a works salvation. While we were yet sinners Jesus died for me. If I could earn it, I could also lose it. That is not a good trade off. God has held me through all of this. I have not been held based on how much time I’ve spent in prayer or study. I have been held based on who He is and the promises that are contained in His word.

Why me?

God has prepared me for such a time as this. As a Christian, we shine the brightest not when everything is going well, but when everything is wrong and we handle it well. We have promises and assurances of what happens after death. These promises should shape our reactions to look differently from those who are without those assurances.

“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him.

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Wherefore comfort one another with these words.”

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

I have a loving family and a great life, but if my Father is calling me home, I’ll have to go. I want to stay.

I have a husband of 34 years whom I love and loves me. I have eight children that I love and who I’m very close to. I have three granddaughters whom I love and long to see grow up. I have a wedding in June and a graduation from college next year and countless other life events I’d love to be here for, but above everything I want to walk in such a way as to bring honor and glory to God. If God will receive more honor by my showing the peace that passes all understanding as I go to the grave, so be it.

All the things that have any real value in my life are people.

All those people can choose to meet me again in heaven. I don’t have to be eternally separated from any of my love ones. I know that some have already placed their faith in Christ, and I hold out hope for the others. I will be reunited with all those I love who choose to put their faith in God and spend eternity with them. Ultimately, I am truly blessed.

I am not giving up; I feel relatively good. I know that God is the author and finisher of my life. He alone knows the day of my death. I am open to His healing. It is my plan to take this one day at a time. I just thought it was important that you know what I was facing and how God is bringing me through.

Special request:

Please do not bombard my family, especially my children, with your words of sympathy. They are processing and are unable to carry your emotions on top of their own. We know that you care for them, but leave them alone. Instead take your care for them in prayer to the Lord. More than any person, they need the comfort that comes from the Comforter, the Holy Spirit of God. Pray instead of calling or texting. Pray that God will allow them to feel the love that you have for them. Do what is best for them, even if it’s not best for you. Thank you.

I hope you have been able to follow what I have been trying to convey.

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him:” Job 13:15a

Thank You, Lord, for keeping your promises. Thank You for paying my sin debt. Thank You for holding on to me. My hold on You can be shaky. Because You hold me, I need not worry about performing correctly in these difficult times. You’ve got me! You are a promise keeper. Every day I wake up in peace I am reminded that You are who You say You are and will do what You say You’ll do. Thank You that You can be trusted. You are worthy to be praised. Amen.

Per Deborah’s Request: In lieu of flowers, she preferred that a contribution be sent to Pensacola Christian College towards Raven Smith’s tuition account which Deborah had been managing:

Option 1:

Mail check to: Pensacola Christian College

Attention: Business Office

c/o Raven N. Smith (ID#: 146444)

P.O. Box 18000

Pensacola, FL 32523

Option 2:

Call the Business Office: 1-850-479-6583

Inform staff that you’re calling to donate to the account of Raven N. Smith (ID#: 146444)

I don’t know about you, but I just feel honored to have known her. In fact, I regret not constantly seeking her for MORE advice.

Dear Smith family, just know that we grieve with you over this great loss. Deborah is in glory, but we mourn her absence among us. I am so thankful for all that she taught us.