We have lost a true lady, leader, & member of the Greatest Generation, Grandma Cunningham

Recently, Alan’s amazing grandmother passed away. I never know whether it will offend people if I write about someone they loved or if it could help them. So I go back and forth in my head a million times about whether or not to say anything. It’s a whole tightrope I walk, not always knowing exactly what I should or shouldn’t do. But then, isn’t that the way for everyone sometimes?

My husband gave me the go-ahead to write about this stately, talented, one-of-a-kind lady, who we call Grandma Cunningham, Grandmother, or just plain Grandmama.

Everyone outside of the kids and grandkids called her Bibby, and she was noble, faithful, strong, kind, generous, and fun.

I learned more about life in the mid-1900s from Grandma Cunningham than I have ever learned from anyone. Her stories were just so good. Anything that came up, she had a story that related to it.

Some of my favorites were her World War II stories. During World War II, she was a kid. She lived near an Army base, and her parents let loads upon loads of soldiers’ family members sleep in their home while their soldiers prepared to leave for the war. I wish you could sit down and listen to her tell those stories.

Grandma Cunningham was of that wonderful generation where being a lady still meant something.

She raised four children and buried a month-old baby named Rodney. That loss broke her heart so much that coming into the family fifty years after his death, she was still talking about it.

And this is the whole painting below. Keep in mind this is a photo of a photo of the actual artwork. Several years ago, she gave all of the kids and grandkids a photo album full of pictures of her art.

Alan (my husband) says that when he thinks of Grandma Cunningham he admires her life of sacrifice, hard work, and selfless giving. Herbert and Bibby started out as two school teachers. Grandma Cunningham taught art, Spanish, and French. All that they have they built together and shared with others.

Alan fully credits his nice penmanship with a moment of encouragement he received from Grandma Cunningham when he was in around fourth grade. She picked him up from school that day. When she saw his homework, she tapped Alan nicely, and said, “You are a smart boy, but no one will ever know it if you don’t write more neatly.”

Alan says his handwriting has been a hundred percent better ever since that day. That lesson stuck with him.

With all her grace, talent, propriety, and faith, Grandma Cunningham was still fun. She enjoyed a good joke and often shared funny things she had seen or heard. This was important because her husband was a successful businessman, and they built a magnificent life for themselves, with an impressive house to go with it.

Her humor and natural down-to-earth grace put us all at ease in her presence. I think when someone like Grandma Cunningham is your own family you forget the greatness of the person you are sitting with.

When I first came into the family, as the wide-eyed twenty-one-year-old girlfriend of her grandson, Alan, I was completely intimidated by this humongous family. Alan’s grandad (who is still with us) built their house himself in the 1970s. Alan was so proud to show it off to me on my first visit.

It seemed like every room was inhabited by several porcelain dolls.

Of course, I didn’t know anything about dolls. When we were kids, my cousin collected porcelain dolls, but I was more of a Barbie fanatic. I don’t know what they are actually made of. They are dolls dressed in fancy clothes, which Grandma Cunningham also made herself.

Grandma Cunningham made almost all of these dolls herself, by hand, at her home. Her artworks didn’t stop there! Her lovely paintings fill their home. Even portraits! There was nothing she could not paint. I was just in awe of her.

As it turned out all those dolls weren’t just a fun hobby. They had the purpose of helping people too, but I’ll tell you more about that in a minute.

Never for two seconds did this highly accomplished lady seem like a snobby artist in a big house looking down on the world because that is the opposite of who she was. Together, she and Grandaddy Cunningham blessed every single person in their family or even close to their family.

They have a condo across the street from the beach, which Grandaddy Cunningham also built himself, he had a construction business. They let all of the family stay there for free. Just make a reservation. When Alan was busy, and I wanted to take my mom or my kids down for a weekend? No problem. Here are the keys.

She never missed a birthday. Grandma Cunningham kept a calendar of birthdays and spent hours making each grandchild or great-grandchild the perfect card on her printer, with a check inside and one crisp dollar for each year you were turning for the children.

Christmas was pure insanity. Around forty people would crowd into their living room to exchange gifts. No one was left out, and she meticulously calculated all the gifts to be as equal as possible.

On Christmas day in 2010, it snowed. We had a glorious white Christmas. I remember Grandma Cunningham saying it was her very first white Christmas, and that was true for all of us.

We were all taking turns standing outside in the snow taking photos, when she said, “Okay, well, we have to open presents as soon as possible because that little Caleb has come up to me and asked me thirty times when we are going to open the presents.”

I about died. That little Caleb was my three-year-old, and all of that hounding was kind of my fault because I am the one who told him that Grandma Cunningham decides when gifts are opened to get him off of my own back.

Grandma Cunningham taught all of her children faithfully about God and Jesus, and how to turn to him and walk with him all of your life. You can see the legacy of her faith carried out through our current generations. When her kids were young, she would gather them in her room for devotions.

We could talk all day about all of Grandma Cunningham’s contributions to her community. We could never cover it all. After witnessing friends suffer abuse at the hands of their husbands, she became a vital benefactor to the Salvation Army Women’s Shelter. For years, she hosted a doll auction, where people came and bid on her creations and others. All of the money from selling those dolls went to the shelter.

Bibby’s work in her church was endless too. For many years, she and Grandaddy Cunningham went on medical missions with their church to Honduras.

They are the most incredibly generous couple. God knew when he put resources in their capable hands, they could be trusted to bless everyone with it. If I were to tell you all the people they helped, you would never believe me. She is rewarded in Heaven now.

One of my favorite memories of this quietly powerful couple is from 2011, after I gave birth to one of our sons. It was after my first c-section, and it was my last day in the hospital. Alan had to go back to work. My parents had our other children, and Nonna lived out of town but was on her way later that day to bring me home. I was alone in my hospital room, and I fell asleep holding my baby in my hospital bed.

A nurse came in, and looked terrified that I was alone in there with the baby and had fallen asleep. I handle pregnancy well, but birthing and recovery are hard for me, and I cannot do it alone. She whisked the baby from the room, saying they would keep the baby until someone else arrived.

Nonna called and said Grandaddy was getting ready to head to that hospital so April wouldn’t be alone. That is a big deal because he dreads hospitals and rarely enters one. But Grandma Cunningham came to the rescue. The nurses returned our baby to us when Grandma arrived, and she sat on the sofa and held him while I rested. It was such a comfort to have her there to sit with us.

She showed us a life well lived. I don’t know what Heaven is like, but I know that she is there.

We lived near the Cunninghams for a couple of years, in the early 2000s. Alan had the worst job then that he ever had, and I was trying to take care of these two small children mostly by myself. I heard that Grandma Cunningham often did that too. As a successful businessman, Grandaddy Cunningham probably often worked long hours just as my husband did.

I looked to her for inspiration. It strengthened me to remember that she had done this too, and yes it was hard, but I noticed she always told stories looking back like it was also hilarious. She told stories about her little boy and the funny things he’d get into. My middle two boys got into all sorts of things, and her stories encouraged me to calm down about raising my own children.

They also helped us quite a few times when we lived in town. She babysat for me, found a photographer for us when the kids were little, and sent Grandaddy over to cut our grass when Alan couldn’t do it.

Family was everything to Grandma Cunningham.

If you stopped by her house for any reason, you could take it to the bank that she would drop everything to visit with you. And when you left, she was going to walk you out to your car and talk to you some more.

It is such an honor to be a part of this family. I am only a married-in relative, but I will always appreciate Grandma Cunningham’s kindness, godliness, and example. What a beautiful lady. We are all blessed to have known her.