What if These Are The Most Important Years of Your Life?

Somewhere over the past year, when I was feeling completely unmotivated, I had this huge, helpful realization. I had the realization that you know what? These are the most important years of my life. So what am I moping around this house for?

Did you get in a serious mind mush during the all of the whole Rona rigamarole?

(P.S. How surprised was I to just learn from the auto spell check that “rigamarore” is spelled rigamarole? Have I been saying it wrong? How DO you say it?)

Anyway, yeah, that whole year of virtual schooling the kids, making vaccine decisions, and missing out on social interaction was challenging. It was so ridiculously challenging. I stay at home most of the time anyway, but I have found it extremely mentally unhealthy to do that for too long at a time.

And managing children in computer school? *Shudder.* I love my children so much, but I want to play board games with them, not enforce a seven hour school day. That was impossible.

So yeah, this whole thing has been a mental health catastrophe for a ton of people.

I was in such a funk last year, I bought this website, built it, wrote two articles, and then didn’t touch it for six months. The decision of letting people know that I had a website called “getting my act together” was too much for me. Ha!

“What if…..?????”

-they think I’m hopeless

-no one reads it

-Everybody is sick of my blogs

-they roll their eyes at me

-the title makes them wonder just how terrible is my act exactly…

So many what ifs.

Also, I wondered why I feel like I’m getting even less done now than I did when I had tiny preschoolers.

But that was just a lie from the devil himself because I know for a fact I’m more caught up with my own life now than I was back then. There were years Alan had to do the Christmas shopping for me because that was just a bridge too far. I couldn’t do it. The preschool parenting years are so hard core.

During those preschool years, I questioned my importance a little less. Their need for me was so obvious.

Now looking back on how tough that was, I look down on my current accomplishments. “I was so busy, but I managed to blog so much back then, and stay so much skinnier, and I was always just busy, busy, busy,” I thought to myself in disgust, as I sat there on my sofa, playing my little app game on my phone and judging myself.

Then I thought to myself in no little disdain, “What is it exactly that I do now?”

Oh gracious, I’m getting these kids through their upper elementary, middle, and high school years. That is what I do right now. Though I do have no idea sometimes what else I do besides laundry, dishes, and cooking dinner. (Or during the YEAR of virtual school– making (not always really cooking) three meals a day for six. OY!!!)

That’s what I do. I serve all these folks in my house. And you know what? It suddenly dawned on me that I think these are the most important years of my life.

How do I know? Because what if I didn’t do what I do? I’m irreplaceable at the moment. I don’t feed anyone from my breasts anymore, sure. But a mother’s love and care is a special level of love and care.

How many countless stories of hurt have you read on the internet by grown-ups who are not okay because of childhood trauma where their parents weren’t there for them?

What if I hadn’t signed sons up for sports when I knew they wanted to, but they were just nervous about being around new people? They needed that.

What if……

– I weren’t there to let those teachers know about bullying incidents at lunch that got fully resolved because of my emails and the teachers’ interventions.

-no one asked them how their day was??

-no one cooked dinner every night?

-no one washed the clothes? Yes, they could do it. But that on top of a full day of school plus homework and just wanting to be a kid is a lot.

-Or what if no one cleaned this house? I mean, someone HAS to clean this house.

-What if no one knew when all the dentist and orthodontist check-ups were, or didn’t bother to make them at all?

Basically, what if no one mothered my children through these older kid years?

Our children need to know how to do many chores for themselves and stick up for themselves, and they do. But sometimes, you just need your mom. That’s me. I get to be mom.

And while the baby/toddler/preschool years were adorable, important, and exhausting, no one but Alan and me remember them. The kids don’t really remember much of that at all.

They get to remember this. This right here. The day-to-day going to school, coming home after school, where Mom hopes they will talk about their day. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. But they will remember that I was here and that I cared and that I kept them fed and supported.

Sometimes we cannot see the impact of what we do, but I am so lucky. These are years where I actually can see my own impact and how my actions affect my children.

Just asking myself that question, “What if these are the most important days of my life?” suddenly gave me a shot of motivation, like an epi-pen to a nut allergy!

Suddenly I felt like I had real purpose. I felt important. Even things like washing dishes were easier to do because suddenly I saw them as worthy pursuits of service instead of menial chores. I was struggling feeling like all I did was dumb ol’ housework. But being reminded of how yucky and discouraging things get without those daily chores being done, helped me put it in perspective.

So my job is to cook and clean, chauffeur kids, plan, organize things, give pep talks, and check the mail. That’s important. These are the most important years of my life.

What if these are the most important years of your life too? Whether your are raising kids or not? I guarantee something you are doing is super important to someone.

Tell yourself how important you are, and see what a difference it makes in your day. It sure made a big difference for me. My brain seems to believe whatever I tell it.